de-nile... it's not just a river in egypt anymore, it's a freakin' ocean

I could have titled this post "denial=survival". Or, "SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!!!!!!"

The title of this post (de-nile) and "somebody sedate me" are lines from tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy. The episode felt strangely parallel to my life.

I am so tired of fighting. But fight I shall. I have somehow earned this reputation that I don't deserve. Things were said about me at my old school that were not true, and now I seriously wonder if I am going to pass, much less get certified. My new teacher is great, but these old rumors are, in some ways, following me to my new school. What's worse, they could destroy my future career.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a reception that I don't really want to go to. I have to introduce myself to every principal in the district. I don't want to do that. I want to stay at my school and teach. I want to be with my students, my kiddos, doing the one thing I love most. I want to teach, I want to be a teacher. Why is this so hard for me?