details
Ok. Details. Brief details, because I'm just waiting for my mom to get back from the dollar store.
My student teaching placement has turned bad. BAD. Real bad. I'm in this huge personality clash with my supervising teacher. I can't even say exactly what's going on for fear that someone will find this blog and connect it to me, and that will cause problems.
But to sum it up, I'm getting no support from the school. And I'm scared. I've worked so hard for so long to achieve this dream, this calling of becoming a teacher, and now it looks like I might not make it. I just wanna be a teacher. And I'm so discouraged - so discouraged, you can't even imagine it. I'm terrified that my depression will come back, that I won't make it through the semester in one piece. I don't want to quit, but I'm beginning to wonder if I have any other options.
And I'm even questioning my calling. Maybe God didn't call me to be a teacher. I don't know where I'm going from here. I mean, this is such a weird age... making decisions about career and marriage and life. Maybe God has something different for me. I don't know. I really and truly don't know. But it is becoming so so difficult for me to get up every morning and go to school.
The unrelated part about dinner with s last night - there's not much to say there. Except that he is an awesome friend, and that it felt so good to go out to eat with him and talk about anything and everything and most of the time it wasn't student teaching.
Music has been so important to me lately. The songs below - "Held" by Natalie Grant, and "Smile" by Chris Rice, among others - are some of the songs that seem to be going through my head constantly nowadays. It gives me so much hope. Hope makes so real to me - that there is an end, that I will survive. Oh, it's just the beginning of October. It's going to be such a long semester.
I can use your prayers. And - this is prideful, i guess, but I've worked so hard - if you would pray that I could still get a grade that is good enough to graduate magna cum laude, or even cum laude, I'd appreciate it. I stand a chance, it's numerically possible, I just have to get a good enough grade (I think an A or B). I've worked so hard.
My student teaching placement has turned bad. BAD. Real bad. I'm in this huge personality clash with my supervising teacher. I can't even say exactly what's going on for fear that someone will find this blog and connect it to me, and that will cause problems.
But to sum it up, I'm getting no support from the school. And I'm scared. I've worked so hard for so long to achieve this dream, this calling of becoming a teacher, and now it looks like I might not make it. I just wanna be a teacher. And I'm so discouraged - so discouraged, you can't even imagine it. I'm terrified that my depression will come back, that I won't make it through the semester in one piece. I don't want to quit, but I'm beginning to wonder if I have any other options.
And I'm even questioning my calling. Maybe God didn't call me to be a teacher. I don't know where I'm going from here. I mean, this is such a weird age... making decisions about career and marriage and life. Maybe God has something different for me. I don't know. I really and truly don't know. But it is becoming so so difficult for me to get up every morning and go to school.
The unrelated part about dinner with s last night - there's not much to say there. Except that he is an awesome friend, and that it felt so good to go out to eat with him and talk about anything and everything and most of the time it wasn't student teaching.
Music has been so important to me lately. The songs below - "Held" by Natalie Grant, and "Smile" by Chris Rice, among others - are some of the songs that seem to be going through my head constantly nowadays. It gives me so much hope. Hope makes so real to me - that there is an end, that I will survive. Oh, it's just the beginning of October. It's going to be such a long semester.
I can use your prayers. And - this is prideful, i guess, but I've worked so hard - if you would pray that I could still get a grade that is good enough to graduate magna cum laude, or even cum laude, I'd appreciate it. I stand a chance, it's numerically possible, I just have to get a good enough grade (I think an A or B). I've worked so hard.
posted by Tidy Bowl at
6:58 PM
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