death and suicide

Last week, I saw an episode of Law and Order that told the story of trying to solve the murder of a man who technically had not died yet - he had radiation poisoning and had less than a week to live.

Last week, I saw an episode of Nightline that told the story of a man with terminal prostate cancer who lived in Oregon, the only state where physician-assisted suicide is legal, and who was contemplating ending his life before the cancer got him.

I cannot imagine being in either of these positions. There is so much of life to experience, and part of the experience is experiencing the unknown. I especially can't imagine the second option - suicide - particularly in a person who is not mentally ill. Do you set a date for when you'll kill yourself? "I have until noon on Thursday to say goodbye to everyone I love." How can you do that? I mean, how can you live, knowing that you will not be here tomorrow? I suppose, in a way, we all live with the acceptance that we might not be here tomorrow - it's an accepted risk of life. But how do you have the courage to go on if you know that you will not be here tomorrow?

I just can't possibly imagine it. Suicide, even for the terminally ill, seems like such a selfish way out. You can't put a deadline on saying goodbye to everyone you love. It's just not possible. And your death will hurt many people - suicide will only make that pain so much worse.