here we go...

This has been such a surreal day. I talked to Hank Griffith at the EFCAIM this morning, which was fantastic, but at the same time gives me a rock in the pit of my stomach. Becoming a missionary is hard... staying in the mission field is harder... standing for Jesus is hardest. Talking to Mr. Griffith was inspiring, but gut wrenching, and my passion for missions has definitely been tempered by fear of the process that I am about to endure.

When I was in the car this afternoon, I heard a song by Mark Schultz called "He Will Carry Me" that left me in tears. In so many ways, I hate being broken by God. I am struggling to embrace this as a time of growth and preparation for what is to come.

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

chorus:
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

chorus

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

I'll be sure to soon include one of my favorite stories of Jesus Freaks who have stood for Christ.