pick me! choose me! love me!
I know my girlfriends will know what my post title means. I lifted this one out of Gray's Anatomy too.
And I keep thinking about a line of Dr. Bailey's tonight - "You already know what you have to do. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt so much."
Maybe all the other females out there in cyberspace will know what it means, too.
I'm definitely ready for something to go my way. Dear Lord, it feels like I've been fighting so hard just to keep my head above water. Each day is more challenging that the last. Every day, I question my calling, my life, my purpose in this world.
I ask, why me? why this? why do I feel the way I do? why now? why me, Lord? What is the meaning of it all? I don't see the finish line. I don't see what Your almighty purpose is in this. And sometimes I hurt so badly.
December is my unofficial deadline. By the end of the year, or possibly even before Christmas, I will do something about the way I feel. And I fear I will have to do the one thing I fear most. Oh, how I pray the Lord will give me a way out. That someone else, my someone else, will do for me what needs to be done. How I pray that doing what must be done will not destroy one of the most beautiful things that has ever come into my life.
Maybe Dr. Bailey is right. Maybe I already know what needs done. That must be why it hurts so bad.
And I keep thinking about a line of Dr. Bailey's tonight - "You already know what you have to do. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt so much."
Maybe all the other females out there in cyberspace will know what it means, too.
I'm definitely ready for something to go my way. Dear Lord, it feels like I've been fighting so hard just to keep my head above water. Each day is more challenging that the last. Every day, I question my calling, my life, my purpose in this world.
I ask, why me? why this? why do I feel the way I do? why now? why me, Lord? What is the meaning of it all? I don't see the finish line. I don't see what Your almighty purpose is in this. And sometimes I hurt so badly.
December is my unofficial deadline. By the end of the year, or possibly even before Christmas, I will do something about the way I feel. And I fear I will have to do the one thing I fear most. Oh, how I pray the Lord will give me a way out. That someone else, my someone else, will do for me what needs to be done. How I pray that doing what must be done will not destroy one of the most beautiful things that has ever come into my life.
Maybe Dr. Bailey is right. Maybe I already know what needs done. That must be why it hurts so bad.
posted by Tidy Bowl at
1:20 AM
2 Comments:
That's the first Gray's Anatomy I've caught this season and when she said, "Pick me! Choose me! Love me!" I knew exactly how she felt. Well, almost. I hate to admit that I find validation through a television program, but there's someone to whom I'd very much like to say that same thing. Not having the guts (and pretty much knowing the result) will keep me from saying it. But, seeing that earnestness if even through the voice of an invented character make me feel okay with wanting to say it.
By
sara , At
October 30, 2005 12:57 AM
Spinster-
ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And some days it just drives me crazy, and I think that if I have to go one more minute without him saying something to me, or me saying something to him, I'll just die. No one warns you about this when you're a kid!
By
Tidy Bowl, At
October 30, 2005 1:01 AM
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