smile

How far are you, how close am I
I know your words are true and I don't feel them inside
Still I believe you'll never leave
So where are you now

You're all I have, You're all I know
Your breath is breathing in my soul
Still I am gasping, aching, asking
Where are you now

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

My journey's here, but my heart is There
So I dream and wait, and keep the faith, while You prepare
Our destiny, til You come back for me
Oh, please make it soon!

Cause I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

I just wanna be with You
I just want this waiting to be over
I just want to be with You
And it helps to know the Day is getting closer

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You

Every minute takes an hour
Every inch feels like a mile
Til I won't have to imagine
And I finally get to see You smile

teaching is the worst job ever. think i'll go back to school and do something different. don't know what. don't care. anything.

why patience drives me bananas

Today I'm realizing once again, for the gazillionith time, how much it really STINKS to be unemployed, and yet working all the time! I found a really nice MP3 player, and I would love to buy it, but it costs almost $400. Plus, I'd like to get a new purse and some stuff for Miami. Can't afford any of it. Don't know when I will be able to afford any of it, either. Phooey.

To make matters worse, tonight on PBS there was a Jim Brickman concert and I heard All-4-One do a song with him called "Beautiful As You". At this point, all males might as well stop reading, because this is something that only a fellow Christian female would understand. Here's the lyrics:

From the moment I saw you
From the moment I looked into your eyes
There was something about you I knew, I knew
That you were once in a lifetime
A treasure near impossible to find
And I know how lucky I am to have you

Cause I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away
The beauty of the setting sun, on any given day
And when it comes to shooting stars I have seen a few
But I've never seen anything as beautiful as you

I can't believe that I have you
I can't believe that you're here in my arms
I've been waiting a life time for you, for you
And I've dreamed about you
Pictured in my mind who I would see
But I never imagined just how beautiful you'd be

Cause I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away(take your breath away)
The beauty of the setting sun, on any given day (any given day)
And when it comes to shooting stars I have seen a few
But I've never seen anything as beautiful as you

I've seen rainbows that could take your breath away (take your breath away)
The beauty of the setting sun, on any given day
And when it comes to shooting stars I have seen a few
But I've never seen anything as beautiful
But I've never seen anything as beautiful as you

From the moment I saw you
From the moment I looked into your eyes

Aaaack, why don't you just shoot me? I know Princess understands how this feels, and Bunnyservant too. 95 percent of the time, I don't mind being single, and I am even thankful that I'm single. But, the rest of the time, hearing songs like this absolutely kills me! They make me long for the day when I will meet Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset...

So in the meantime I am trying desperately to read my Bible and fall deeper in love with Jesus. But - and this is no excuse but it's the truth - being an insomniac makes me so tired that I can't do it in the morning, and I'm going to bed earlier and earlier but falling asleep later and later. Oh how I wish it was not so hard sometimes!

And by the way, I still have all kinds of lesson plans to write. Yucky, I hate lesson plans. They just make teaching so much more difficult!

my Isaac

I was driving to Bunnyservant's house tonight when I heard this song on the radio - I can't really explain it, but here are the lyrics:

Wake up little Isaac
Rub your tired eyes
Go and kiss your mama
We'll be gone a little while
Come and walk beside me
Come and hold your papa's hand
I go to make an altar
And to offer up my lamb

I waited on the Lord
And in a waking dream He came
Riding on a wind across the sand
He spoke my name
"Here I am," I whispered
And I waited in the dark
The answer was a sword
That came down hard upon my heart

Chorous:
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord
And the Lord I will obey
Lord, help me I don't know the way

So take me to the mountain
I will follow where You lead
There I'll lay the body
Of the boy You gave to me
And even though You take him
Still I ever will obey
But Maker of this mountain, pleaseMake another way

It's called "Holy is the Lord" by Andrew Peterson. Amazing lyrics. Well, I heard that and I was thinking about what amazing faith Abraham must have had, to take the child he had waited so long for, the child God had given to him, and offer that child to God as a sacrifice. My thoughts turned to my own desire to have a faith like Abraham's.

From there, I began to wonder, what is my own "Isaac"? What is the gift that God has given me, that I might struggle to give back to him? Hands down, without question, that has to be my sanity, and my pills. Those of you who know me well will know what I mean by that. God saved my life, and I can never thank him enough - but it is sometimes difficult to remember that I am here because of God, and God is the one who holds my life in his hands.

So, to all of you out there who read this, I encourage you to consider this: What is your "Isaac"? What is your gift from God, that you value so much you may struggle to place it back in God's hands? Reply to this post, if you're comfortable. I'd love to hear from you.

On a completely unrelated note: My allergies have started to drive me nuts. I know this is a bad year for pollen and mold, but I am so miserable it's unbelievable. I am desperately praying that it doesn't get any worse (and hopefully gets better!). I'm a little red-nose now. Yuck.

random thoughts

Teaching is hard work! It feels like I come home every day a little more exhausted. I've just got so much work to do, lesson-plan wise, and every day when I get home, I'm just totally wiped. I could tell all kinds of stories, but I won't... confidentiality and stuff. Just know that it's hard work, and there's a lot of work, and we can't wear blue jeans, tennis shoes, or flip flops!

Bunnyservant wrote a really great blog earlier this week - check it out. www.bunnyservant.blogspot.com. It got me to thinking about a lot of stuff. If you're interested in hearing more about my thoughts, call me and we'll have dinner together sometime (this means you, S!). Besides, I want to see BunnyServant's bunnies again sometime.