texas

mood:tired &happy

This will be short because I don't have a lot of time. However, I thought I'd let everyone know that I'm traveling right now. My family decided to visit my sister in Fort Worth, Texas for Memorial Day weekend. Luckily our hotel has free internet. So I'm in a hotel in Texas right now.

My friend Beth is taking care of my hamsters right now. So I am not responsible for any strange hamster comments! :)

auschwitz

mood:sad

Sometimes people ask me why I chose to minor in history, or why I enjoy studying history so much.

I don't usually watch Oprah. However, yesterday and today she focused on a topic that we should all remember.

Oprah interviewed a survivor of the Nazi Auschwitz death camp. This is a very personal subject for me, because like many Americans my age, both of my grandfathers fought in WWII. My mother's father, who is still living, fought in the Pacific theater, primarily at the island of Guadalcanal, and he has since told the story of what he experienced both orally and in print. However, my father's father (who passed away of liver cancer 10 years ago) fought in the European theater, and saw images that were so shocking that he was never able to talk about what he had experienced. We don't know exactly what his unit did during the war - what battles he was in, and so on - but based on the things we found in his house after he died, we are certain that he was involved in the liberation of a concentration camp. Many of my family members believed (based on some photographs we found) that he aided in the liberation of Auschwitz. I do not believe this is correct, because history has recorded that Auschwitz was liberated by Soviet soldiers; however, I do believe it is possible that my grandfather somehow witnessed Auschwitz, likely soon after it was liberated by the Soviets. Instead, I believe my grandfather was involved in the liberation of Treblinka or Dachau.

Auschwitz was the site of the one single largest mass murder in the history of mankind. At Auschwitz, mass numbers of people were systematically tortured and killed. What happened at Auschwitz was unspeakable. What happened at Auschwitz should never have happened. And yet, because of our own sinfulness, it was inevitable.

After World War II, everyone said "Never again". Never again would the world allow such genocide to occur. Never again.

Yet it did occur again. In Korea, in Vietnam, in Bosnia, in Rwanda, in Sudan, it is still occuring.

My heart cries out that this should never happen again. Yet in my head, I know that it will. It should never happen again. But in my head, I know that it will happen again, and again, and again, until the day of Christ's return.

Sometimes people ask me why I choose to study history. I study history because we must remember what we have done. We must remember; otherwise we will make the same mistakes that were made before. We must remember; otherwise America will no longer be free.

YAY!!!

mood:ecstatic

My meeting with my pastor (the pastor I grew up with) today went far better than I expected! Now I'm well on my way to turning in my application to serve with Mercy Ships! Hooray!

Next step: raising support. Lord, be with me! I'll need your help!

Daniel 12:3

Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.

funny hamster story

mood:amused

I found this story today on ABCNEWS.com. It's funny, and better yet, it sort of involves hamsters!

Update: Thanks to BunnyServant, I just discovered that the link above was broken. It has been repaired. Happy reading to you all!

kissimmee

mood:happy

Tonight I got a video of Kissimmee that I've been trying to get for awhile now. It's really adorable. As you can see in the video, Kissimmee's "cage" is actually a large Rubbermaid container into which I have drilled a bunch of air-holes. Works great. Well, lately Kissimmee has been trying to chew on the smooth sides of her cage. It's funny!

Click here to see a video of Kissimmee

reconnection

mood:content

Yesterday BunnyServant told me to write more. And she's right... it's been almost a week since I posted. It's been a somewhat crazy week, but I think it's been good. Let me see if I can catch everyone up on my week...

On Monday I got a call from my (ex) pastor, wanting to talk about the whole missions thing and whatever. He had previously spoken with my mother at the school where they both work. Again, he refused to tell me why he refused to reccommend me to go overseas. Finally, after much talking (arguing?) and persuasion, I was able to get him to admit that he did not reccommend me because he did not know me well enough to feel comfortable reccommending me. The ironic part of this was that I have offered numerous times to take him or his whole family out to dinner, or to other occassions which would give him the opportunity to get to know me, but he refuses. It's frustrating but that's the way it is. I am now realizing that he is not really that great of a pastor. It's little stuff but it's important - like, he and his wife do not answer their phone at home, and then they do not return phone calls after you leave messages. He does not have a seminary degree, which is a little thing but I wonder if that's important. He is very vocal about political issues, even though he knows that there are people in our church who disagree with him. He's not missions-minded, our church does not currently support any missionaries, and he seems completely oblivious to the need outside of the United States. He doesn't make a huge effort to get to know visitors to our church. Don't get me wrong - he knows a lot about the Bible, and I believe he is a Christian. But there's just little things that I'm seeing, that are showing me that I don't belong. So receiving this phone call from him on Monday was discouraging, but I refuse to let it stop me.

On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I received calls asking me to substitute at LSCCS. Two of the days were in secondary; one was in elementary. I love this school so I was glad to get these calls, especially since it's almost the end of the year. I have subbed in the secondary level so much this semester, and it's such a small group (only about 200 students), that I realized this week that I'm really going to miss these kids. I've subbed for almost all their teachers, and I know almost all the students. They're really awesome kids. I love teaching them.

On Tuesday, I recieved an email from the principal of the Academy on the Mercy Ship I hope to join. That email buoeyed my spirits so much. Since then, I have been in such prayer, that I can go to that ship. Oh, how wonderful that would be!

Surprisingly, on Thursday, I received a second email from the same principal. What an encouragement! I know Jesus is watching out for me!

I'm looking into taking a course or two at our local seminary, Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, this summer. This would have many wonderful benefits. First, of course, it would be Bible education and training, which would be wonderful. Second, it would enable me to get my ACSI certification, which would help me to get a job aboard a Mercy Ship or elsewhere.

My hamsters have been a great encouragement during this time. I've taken some funny pictures, which I will post as soon as I get a chance, but I think this post is long enough already. Updates coming soon...

it's not supposed to be like this!!!

mood:frustrated, angry, scared, & numb

This has turned into "one of those days".

My (ex?) pastor talked to my mom today. (They are both teachers at the same school.) This surprised me, because he has been avoiding her since we (he and I) last spoke. Well, my mom asked her several of the questions we have had, but he wouldn't really tell my mom anything we don't already know. Except he did tell her one thing: He is going to call me soon to create an "action plan".

Knowing him, it won't be soon at all. I'll be lucky if he calls me next week. But that's not even the point... See, he does not want me to go overseas for at least two years, and that is quickly becoming NOT AN OPTION for me!

Because, you see, in a couple of months I will no longer have insurance. It's a miracle that I've had health insurance as long as I have. But soon I won't. And then I'll need to earn... well, about twice as much as I currently am.

It's not supposed to be like this. It's just not.

desire

mood:working

The past few days have been more than a bit frustrating. My job prospects in the United States have been steadily disappearing. My job prospects overseas are nil, at this point. I don't know what else to do, or what else I can do.

Today, I signed up to take two more Praxis tests. If I pass those tests, I will be able to receive two more Missouri state teaching certificates. I am trying to do everything I can to move myself closer to my calling. I think expanded certification will do that for me.

I just wish it wasn't so discouraging!

shaving

moodhappy

Earlier this week I got some coupons in the mail for a Gillette Venus razor, and today I was out shopping and bought a Venus Vibrance, as well as some extra cartridges and a jar of Gillette Satin Care shave gel.



Well, I took a shower and shaved with this Venus razor, and I have to say...

I HAVE NEVER HAD A CLOSER SHAVE!!!

Sorry, everyone, but I'm just so blown away by how awesome it is. Now, the story gets even better from here. I came home and was doing a little internet research when I discovered that you can get a COMPLETE REBATE for your Gillette Venus Vibrance razor! I'm not kidding - you can all totally get a really nice razor for free. (Well... the refill cartridges aren't cheap... but that's another story.) Go to this website to print out your free rebate form. Then you just have to send it in with a proof of purchase and receipt. Not bad!

our newest family member

mood:cheerful

I knew that sooner or later I'd have to announce the newest member of our family...

KISSIMMEE!!!

why?

mood:troubled

It seems like the more I pursue God, the more I am challenged by Satan himself. At least it feels that way. My pastor doesn't want me to go overseas but he won't tell me why. Today I spoke with another pastor, one who I have known longer, and he gave me the same response. They are telling me that I should get a job in the United States.

But I can't deny what I feel, the deep groanings of the Holy Spirit within me. Every word of my Bible jumps out at me, screaming of the need. The cry is echoed in every breath of prayer that I utter. The desire to become more will not go away. The call is there. Though I have not been willing to acknowledge it until very recently, the call has been in me for a long time.

But now I am just so scared about so much. My pastors are not supporting me - and I am quite certain that their reasons for not supporting me have less to do with "God's will" and more to do with "my (their) desires".

I cannot and will not ignore the fire that God has placed within me. But no less, I am frightened. The future is so uncertain. Where do I go from here?

"Kinks come and go, but the calling stays."
~A.G., Lee's Summit, Missouri